"How blessed is he who considers the helpless..." Psalm 41:1

Sunday, July 12, 2009


Sunday used to be my favorite day of the week. It brings to mind a day to recover, relax, church, family lunches, nacho dinners, chillin at the pool, movies, and football in the fall.

But in the last year Sundays have become a sort of melancholic day for me... if that’s a good way to put it. Now this Sunday can be any day really. This summer when I work at The Jones on Sundays, my day is Monday. I assume when I start classes next year it could be Friday or Saturday that I feel this way.

Point is, after a busy weekend of work and being “on” all the time, I really enjoy my me-time. And in that slowing down and tuning in to what I have pushed to the back of my mind while I’m on the grind, I realize that I miss my baby. I wonder how he is, what he’s doing, what he ate for his last meal, who will put him down to sleep tonight... All in all I have faith that he’s okay. I’m good knowing that Isaac’s fate lies in God’s hands whether I have him right here in my arms or if he’s somewhere far away. But the mother in me (still weird to say) wants to protect, spoil, teach, care for him… And I just really miss him.

It’s a journey that I love and hate. I want him home with me, but I know that this process is what is meant to be. I have a new purpose for what I do. Not many people know what I do, no one really knows what I go thru. I’m not saying it’s harder or easier than others. That is not my judgment to make, but it is unique to me. I told someone recently that it had been kind of an emotional day. And they responded, “I imagine being emotional comes with caring about things, being passionate.” … Absolutely.

1 comment:

Amy said...

Oh how I relate to this!! It's hard feeling like life is incomplete and not as it should be yet, isn't it? At the same time the waiting is oh so painful, it has also been a journey of God drawing me near to Him. Who else can look after my little boy in Ethiopia better than Him? There is certainly pain in the waiting but also rest in the knowledge that God's eyes are on our little sparrow all the way in Africa. Praying for you as you wait!!