Se bon ki ra

‎"Se bon ki ra" is an old Haitian proverb meaning “good is rare”. Meant to be a reminder to treasure your unique experiences in life.

All of our life's experiences are unique. Sometimes I feel like mine are more so than others. But in our own isolation we actually share that we all have a unique experience. Tonight Isaac ran to get me a tissue when Anderson Cooper's update on the Haitian elections, riots, protesters, and 2,000 deaths to cholera brought tears to my eyes. Oh the irony.

Don't let the media fool you into more media

More and more people seem to be asking about what cartoons or movies Isaac is into. It's funny because he doesn't watch them and even if I turn them on he pays little to no attention. I wouldn't even mention this, but I think that it's worth a second look, or at the very least, some dialogue.

My personal opinion isn't hard to see in the matter. I would prefer Isaac to interact and play, rather than watch a cartoon or even an educational DVD. Why? Because our time together is precious. I don't count and teach him a ton of games or songs or anything. Call me crazy. I let him decide what he wants to play with and I encourage it. I DO talk to him all the time, and we speak a little bit of four different languages.

Now, all that being said, some of these baby einstein and creative programs are well done. My belief is that there will be plenty of time for media and television. Yes, yes I know that it would make my life MUCH easier to put him in front of the tv for a bit to get things done, but even if it takes longer, I love cleaning while Isaac tries to push around the swiffer (that's his new thing). Even when mama has sports on we don't just sit and watch them, he gets excited that he knows what it is and gets out a ball or bat and shows me his skills!

Really in a month or two... or a year or two, I may decide to upload little kid apps to my iPhone. Parenting is a process and another learning/compromising experience in life. But don't judge me for not educating my son via media because I have no problem with your tech savvy kiddo. Not that many people are too concerned with whether their child can play with a wheel and a stick with the other children in Haiti without whining for their PS3. That's just me.

Food for thought below... This applies to adults as well btw ;)

Excerpt taken from One of the Worst Parenting Mistakes You Can Make. British psychologist Aric Sigman writes in his 2008 paper titled, DOES NOT COMPUTE, Screen Technology in Early Years Education:

"… [T]he scientists found that for every hour per day spent watching specially developed baby DVDs and videos such as Baby Einstein and Brainy Baby, children under 16 months understood an average of six to eight fewer words than children who did not watch them.

One of the authors stated," The evidence is mounting that they are of no value and may in fact be harmful.

Given what we now know, I believe the onus is on the manufacturers to prove their claims that watching these programs can positively impact children's cognitive development. The bottom line is the more a child watches baby DVDs and videos the bigger the effect. The amount of viewing does matter."

Keeping a TV in your child's bedroom is not a wise parenting decision, based on the evidence available.

A growing body of research shows strong links between a TV in the bedroom and numerous health and educational problems.

Children with TVs in their bedroom:

• Score lower on school tests
• Are more likely to have sleep problems
• Are more likely to be overweight
• May have an increased risk of smoking
• Tend to consume more unhealthy foods

Clearly, the vast majority of kids and teens are in dire need of more exercise. However, based on the findings reported in the journal Pediatrics this month, exercising more may not be enough to compensate for the detrimental impact of TV and computer use.

The other side of the equation is shutting off your TV and computer more often...

As reported by Live Science:

"The study found that regardless of age, gender, socioeconomic status, or whether a child had hit puberty, more than two hours a day in front of a TV or computer was associated with more emotional and behavioral difficulties.

Most importantly, the connection between screen time and psychological problems held regardless of how much overall physical activity the kids engaged in."

What that means is that it's not a sedentary lifestyle that poses the greatest risk to your child's mental health, but rather the activities your child engages in while being sedentary.

Other sedentary activities, such as reading or doing homework, had no detrimental impact on the children's mental health.

Another interesting fact was that the total amount of time spent on sedentary activities in general also did not have a negative impact on mental health – only the amount of time spent watching TV or in front of the computer impacted their psychology and behavior.

ℒℴѵℯ

Adoption Completed!!!

It took me a bit to get this up, but wanted to let everyone know that our domestic adoption was completed as of August 24th. The hearing was not what I anticipated, but I don't know what I did expect. The outcome is really all that matters. He's a Taylor! So proud of all we've been thru. I wish the citizenship would come just as soon, but it's all in His time and I feel so blessed with this. Thanks for all of your prayers

God is good. All the time.

Tell Me About It

My bestest Nora posted this on a fb discussion board and I wanted to share it too. It made me kind of tear up, laugh a little, and nod in awe at how well put it is. I get the question from people "what did you do today?" every day and never even know how to put it into words!

I recently experienced that realization that certain people just don't have very maternal instincts. Nothing wrong with it, but when you are like me and go from 100% independent, jet-setting, working, and playing to "mama" some people don't have a clue. This isn't an insult. I didn't have a clue before. My point in posting the article is that, a friend is a friend, no matter what stage in life each of you are in. Everyone needs to vent sometimes and a true friend is there to support and most of all NOT JUDGE.

On the flip side, I've been surprised by some people without kiddos who have been even more supportive than before and involved. The way I look at it is: If you're my close friend, then you're my family, and your family is my family.

Read it and tell me your thoughts.

TELL ME ABOUT IT ®

by Carolyn Hax of the Washington Post

Carolyn:

Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): Wow. Sorry. What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group . . .

Okay. I've done Internet searches, I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners . . . I do all those things, too, and I don't do them EVERY DAY. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events) and I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy -- not a bad thing at all -- but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a peeing contest ("My life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks get the same story and have the same questions.

Tacoma, Wash.

Relax and enjoy. You're funny.

Or you're lying about having friends with kids.

Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.

Internet searches?
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I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.

So, since it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. In list form. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, clean, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces the kind of checkout-line screaming that gets the checkout line shaking its head.

It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.

It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.

It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends, well-meaning and otherwise. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.

It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything -- language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything.

It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you to mutual friends, or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand or keep your snit to yourself.

Adoption Update... Court and Paperwork

Good news! We have a court date set for August 24th! PRAYERS PLEASE. We are going in hopes to complete our domestic adoption.

We have very little paperwork from Haiti in support of Isaac's situation and because of that we are going in with a second order to ask for temporary custody granted in MO. Technically I was given custody/sponsorship of him on January 26th in Florida by DHS, but if the judge does not find that or our supporting documents sufficient we will ask for our second choice of temporary custody and then have to wait another 6 months for an adoption hearing. This is certainly not ideal because we will have to find a social worker in AZ to report back to our agency here and then ultimately have to renew our home study again, fingerprints probably, and fly back home for any court proceedings. All of this just means more time and money.

So within the last 2 weeks I've got a copy of his birth certificate from Washington (working on getting it translated hopefully). As of today I have a copy of the affidavit that Chris (the orphanage director) wrote in support of his story with details of how he came to HIS Home for Children and that he was placed there for the purpose of adoption. Hopefully the notarized original arrives in time for court. Of course, this still may not be enough to satisfy the judge, but I think that this in addition to my dossier, post placement home study, and paperwork from DHS in Florida will be a good case in a difficult situation.

Once we get the domestic adoption completed we will hopefully start the process of citizenship for him. Pray that this will go smoothly. Our family services lawyer recommended that we then hire an immigration lawyer, but one thing at a time right now :)

Thanks for all your support! Mwen renmen ou tout

Don't Forget Haiti

With only 2% of promised funds to the devastated country delivered so far. Help us with a project where you know where your money is going and when =)

Six months ago, a magnitude 7.0 earthquake shook the city of Port-au-Prince, Haiti to the ground and many lost their lives. The need in Haiti is still so great. With a heart for embracing orphans among others in need, Embrace Point is partnering with JBA Haiti in support of the Cabaret Baptist Children's Home and School.

The community is in need of a new vehicle and we are close to reaching our goal, but we need your help to cross that finish line!

Embrace the community of Cabaret with us, donate now, and together we can make a difference!

Donate HERE: Embrace Point: Help Haiti Project