Miss Taylor........@

Shaken and Awakened

2012-01-12T14:11:00.006-06:00

This was written on May 13, 2010 in Kampala, Uganda.

"I haven't journaled "since I've been back." I keep wording it like that as if people know what I mean. What I mean is since the earth shook under me and all around me. I also mean since I became a full time single mama. I mean I've blogged, I've spoke numerous times about my account in Port-au-Prince, Haiti, but I've skipped things, forgotten events... some maybe purposefully.

How do I truly describe some things? How I felt?... More alive, more disbelief, more out-of-body, more horror, more praise, smaller than I've ever felt in this world, more important, more strength, absolute helplessness, NUMB, butterflies, calm, nausea... I felt more human.

What do I say about my young 12 year old girl? The Lord made me nauseous enough to sit where she had been treated and left. She knew she wanted to be nearer to me. She inched her curled up body closer and closer to me. I have never cared for someone like that. I did not play nurse, I played her mama. I covered her and God allowed me to care for her for hours while she moaned and cried in pain.

In my extreme uncomfortableness I looked out the back window of the jeep where I sat at a young man, alone, no blanket, no sheet, only a cement block as a pillow. Just a few yards away lay a severely burned woman. Would have believed she was dead with the exception of the slight rise and fall of her chest. I wasn't aware that dark brown skin burned away would reveal such a pink flesh underneath.

What about the young man from a local language school? He was so curious mid morning the next day why this young girl with her IV tied to the tree branch called me over and laid awkwardly on me. Who was this blanc? And why was I caring for her like family? We talked a little in strained English and Creole until the realization we could do so much better in Spanish. None of his family knew where he was. And I was encouraged by his questioning and his approval. Eventually his brother and father came to the hospital. They found him in the shade talking with me, making friends. He was an intelligent, young, Haitian man. He knew Christ. He is what Haiti needs. It's been so few and far between finding children who were with hope and opportunity. Now all I think is how many children were given hope only to have it stripped away. These children beg for a chance to go to school. Our children often complain and dread it.

I am a confident and very capable woman. Don't get me wrong, God blessed me with it all. But sometimes, even still, it takes stripping it all away to realize and to grow.

I can never judge those who hurt. I've been hurt and Jesus did not judge me. He loved me. I now know what only a mother can truly know. I feel made for this. I love being a mama. And I also want to the Lord to bless and expand my family that I can care for and hold down day in and day out.

It's like I've been awakened. Shaken awake. Literally and spiritually. At the same time it feels like a dream. My own dream. Many of the same characters in my life before are still there, but they don't know this dream. The don't see the fog. Or they don't see for the fog. Their vision of before has remained in tact.

But I am forever changed."

This was over a year and a half ago and I feel the same. I want to be healed from the pain of suffering I saw, but I don't want to lose my new perspective. Maybe I can't have both.

Haiti: 2 Years Later

2012-01-12T13:18:00.007-06:00

It's already been a hectic morning. I got up early to watch the CBS Morning Show which featured H.I.S. Home for Children, Isaac's orphanage. Then on to work for more "to dos" than I think I can handle today. So I'm spending some time just relaxing. Before I get into my own recent personal news I think it's important to talk about our people of Haiti. Yes, we are all one race, the human race.

Haiti: 2 Years Later, Where's The Money?

This article touches on what I rant and rave about when someone inquires or has the patience to sit and listen to me. What have "WE" done to the people of Haiti before the quake ever hit? Why were there millions forced into a city built for only a quarter million people?

"But the economy of rice in Haiti says everything about the condition the country is in. The US government subsidizes and "donates" ton after ton of rice in Haiti and in so doing has through the last several decades completely undercut Haitian rice farmers and left them destitute and migrating into cities where they live in hovels that were destroyed by the quake."

And all that money that caring Americans donated to the US, Unicef, Red Cross, etc? Where did it all go? Why is there so little progress where it's needed most?

"Not that the people of Haiti didn't benefit from all this money and assistance. But, really, over the last two years, the effort to assist post-earthquake Haiti has mostly benefited - or at least subsidized - the aid and relief institutions and private corporations that nominated themselves to help Haiti in its 2010-based time of need.

"In the end," says Robert Fatton Jr., professor of government and foreign affairs at the University of Virginia and a son of and authority on contemporary Haiti, "if you read the reports - the UN Report and so on - you'll see that actual Haitians got less than 1 percent of all the American money pledged.""

So I guess my question is when is giving really giving? At what point do we stop patting and scratching each others backs in the name of charity? Who is held accountable? So many people cared to give... who is going to care to follow through and ensure that the giving goes to those in need? This seems to be an issue outside AND within our own borders. As much as I dislike the media as a whole, reality is more stories like this, and maybe more leaders and influential people can change the mindset of the general public. When you know better, you do better. And I still strongly believe we CAN make a difference, on our own, and even more so collectively.

Cite Soleil

2011-10-01T12:40:00.000-05:00

The slum once dominated by violence

The city where my baby was born is always a combination of beauty and sadness in my eyes. I am saddened by conditions, but am proud of where he came from. The difficult thing is to know that these conditions have been created by IMT and The World Bank. The US as a bully pushing a small country into a food crisis and creating problems that no people should endure. This article, although maybe not new information, is just another source as to why things are how they are, but not as to how the can now be reversed... There is always hope for improvement. That's why people just like myself are interested and inspired everyday by others and to do more themselves.

A Day in the Life of Cite Soleil

A Mother's Footsteps

2011-04-30T16:42:00.002-05:00

It was a busy day in our Costa Mesa, California, home. But then, with 6 children and one on the way, every day was a bit hectic. On this particular day, however, I was having trouble doing even routine chores -- all because of one little boy. Len, who was three at the time, was on my heels no matter where I went. Whenever I stopped to do something and turned back around, I would trip over him. Several times, I patiently suggested fun activities to keep him occupied. "Wouldn't you like to play on the swing set?" I asked again.

But he simply smiled an innocent smile and said, "Oh, that's all right Mommy. I'd rather be in here with you." Then he continued to bounce happily along behind me.

After stepping on his toes for the fifth time, I began to lose my patience and insisted that he go outside and play with the other children. When I asked him why he was acting this way, he looked up at me with sweet green eyes and said, "Well, Mommy, in Sunday class my teacher told me to walk in Jesus' footsteps. But I can't see him, so I'm walking in yours."

I gathered Len in my arms and held him close. Tears of love and humility spilled over from the prayer that grew in my heart -- a prayer of thanks for the simple, yet beautiful perspective of a three-year-old boy.

Author Unknown

Memorial in Arizona

2011-01-13T01:27:00.001-06:00

After a difficult day our President's words aren't just rhetoric. I wish everyone had the leaders and the system of support we had (however flawed, we are blessed).

"What matters is not wealth, or status, or power, or fame — but rather, how well we have loved, and what small part we have played in making the lives of other people better." - President Obama

12 Janvier 2011

2011-01-12T22:20:00.001-06:00

It's been a long day. It's really lonely knowing that those around you don't understand or don't even know. People keep telling me to write down my experiences. But I can't. Maybe later. Idk why. Seems too dramatic. Maybe putting it on paper makes it more real? Maybe there just aren't words? I speak ab it all in generalities. I appreciate those who checked on me back then and probed about it all. It has to be hard to ask someone ab something devastating. I could have lost it at any time, LOL, but it helped me to process. I'm not so much grieving for those who died, may their souls RIP. I'm grieving for those left suffering

If I were living in Haiti idk if I'd shake Clinton's hand or shun him. Would I graffiti "down with NGO's" even tho I work w them?... Probably. I've learned there are many out there unworthy of our trust. Don't get me wrong... Foreign aid organizations can play a vital role in helping Haiti and the developing world. The important fact is that they help best by stimulating private investment rather than providing social services. Putting $$$ into our own pockets, governmental or ngo, sending aid to Haiti, just to undercut locals workers and put people out of work makes #NoDamnSense

The best I can pray for today is a better tomorrow. Looking for guidance in living a life of worthy contribution, participation, unity, and most of all LOVE. What can we do to be His hands and feet for today and all of the tomorrows?!

no words

2011-01-12T11:08:00.008-06:00

As I say there are no words, I sit and try to write. What else is there to do? Of course continue to advocate for Haiti. Continue to advocate for anyone without a voice. Continue to believe in better things to come despite what I've seen to be mostly the opposite. Continue to try and be the best mother I can be.

But today. What can I do? I haven't eaten, but the day's only half gone and honestly this 1 day fast may be simple with so many emotions involved. I go back and forth between wanting to shut off all forms of communication to avoid timelines, news feeds, messages, and phone calls. But ultimately avoidance doesn't help heal. Tears have come and gone as easily and I've breathed in and out today.

I always relate my feeling through music. I had the words "music and rhythm find their way into secret places of a soul" put on the back of my (RED) iPod. Throughout the past year many songs have touched my heart.

This particular one by Fantasia speaks to me. I want to tell all the people in and around PAP that the worst part is over. My desire is for one year of remembrance to be a time to mourn those lost and look to a brighter future. What I feel is different tho. I feel the worst part isn't over. I can't hold each and every suffering person and sincerely tell them something I'm not sure of. People were suffering before. People continue to suffer. The other side of that is that I want someone to hold me and tell me the worst part is over. I don't always want these vivid images to be forever etched in my mind.

JOIN ME - One Year Later

2011-01-10T16:26:00.016-06:00

It's hard to fathom it's already been a year. So much has changed, but I can close my eyes and put myself right back there. I can feel the earth move. I can hear the cries of pain and those mourning. I can see the shock on faces. I can smell certain things I'd rather not write about. I can hear the songs being sung. I can feel the knot in my stomach, even tho very little was shown outwardly until days later back in the US.

There is a physical reaction beyond what our minds can process sometimes. I had never gone without food (or what I would consider an adequate amount) for long prior to the earthquake in Port-au-Prince. I get cranky and sick when I don't eat. But being in a situation where there is little to go around and new prospects for food and water are of concern is something that was a first for me. Many of you who read this can not fathom it either. But so many in our world face this on a regular basis.

There are numerous vigils, events, walks, moments of silence, etc taking place this week. I am asking for all of your support, tomorrow January 12th. Everyone can participate in some way. And let me know how you are!!! I am choosing to spend the day reflecting and fasting. This is tough for me, so all the more reason to do it. Fasting is biblical, but I don't expect you all to do the same. I don't believe in memorizing prayers or giving up things just because you are told to. The Lord asks us to do many things in our lives, but the basis of WHY we do them is most important. The sacrifice, the attention we give to Him during the process is what He wants from us.

When we are truly hungry we can empathize with those who are hungry and we can be grateful on another level that we are blessed with health and nourishment on a regular basis. "So we fasted and petitioned our God about this, and he answered our prayer." - Ezra 8:23

We all experience compassion fatigue. It's nearly impossible not to. It causes us to become cynical or resistant to those who are suffering. And who wants to think about all the tragedy in the world all of the time? I don't! But it is no excuse to ignore those who need us. Now, one year later, only 15% of promised funds have been delivered. Cholera, an illness that should never result in death, has spread and taken the lives of over 3,600 people according to recent reports. The people of Haiti need our prayers. They need our support and that comes in so many forms. If nothing else, let's take the time to discover how we can individually and collectively be proactive in helping.

The Lord answers prayers AND He provides guidance. "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you." - Jeremiah 29:12 Sometimes the hard part is being patient and waiting on His timing. But as soon as you put all that trust and faith into practice miracles happen. God gives us more than we asked for to begin with. Isaac and I are living proof.

Hannah in the bible, named her son Samuel (sounds like the Hebrew for heard by God) after praying long and hard for a child. "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him." 1 Samuel 1:27

How can you say miracles don't still happen? I prayed for Isaac and some of us had families united long before we could have dreamed possible.

Se bon ki ra

2010-12-10T22:09:00.003-06:00

‎"Se bon ki ra" is an old Haitian proverb meaning “good is rare”. Meant to be a reminder to treasure your unique experiences in life.

All of our life's experiences are unique. Sometimes I feel like mine are more so than others. But in our own isolation we actually share that we all have a unique experience. Tonight Isaac ran to get me a tissue when Anderson Cooper's update on the Haitian elections, riots, protesters, and 2,000 deaths to cholera brought tears to my eyes. Oh the irony.

Don't let the media fool you into more media

2010-10-27T02:46:00.007-05:00

More and more people seem to be asking about what cartoons or movies Isaac is into. It's funny because he doesn't watch them and even if I turn them on he pays little to no attention. I wouldn't even mention this, but I think that it's worth a second look, or at the very least, some dialogue.

My personal opinion isn't hard to see in the matter. I would prefer Isaac to interact and play, rather than watch a cartoon or even an educational DVD. Why? Because our time together is precious. I don't count and teach him a ton of games or songs or anything. Call me crazy. I let him decide what he wants to play with and I encourage it. I DO talk to him all the time, and we speak a little bit of four different languages.

Now, all that being said, some of these baby einstein and creative programs are well done. My belief is that there will be plenty of time for media and television. Yes, yes I know that it would make my life MUCH easier to put him in front of the tv for a bit to get things done, but even if it takes longer, I love cleaning while Isaac tries to push around the swiffer (that's his new thing). Even when mama has sports on we don't just sit and watch them, he gets excited that he knows what it is and gets out a ball or bat and shows me his skills!

Really in a month or two... or a year or two, I may decide to upload little kid apps to my iPhone. Parenting is a process and another learning/compromising experience in life. But don't judge me for not educating my son via media because I have no problem with your tech savvy kiddo. Not that many people are too concerned with whether their child can play with a wheel and a stick with the other children in Haiti without whining for their PS3. That's just me.

Food for thought below... This applies to adults as well btw ;)

Excerpt taken from One of the Worst Parenting Mistakes You Can Make. British psychologist Aric Sigman writes in his 2008 paper titled, DOES NOT COMPUTE, Screen Technology in Early Years Education:

"… [T]he scientists found that for every hour per day spent watching specially developed baby DVDs and videos such as Baby Einstein and Brainy Baby, children under 16 months understood an average of six to eight fewer words than children who did not watch them.
One of the authors stated," The evidence is mounting that they are of no value and may in fact be harmful.

Given what we now know, I believe the onus is on the manufacturers to prove their claims that watching these programs can positively impact children's cognitive development. The bottom line is the more a child watches baby DVDs and videos the bigger the effect. The amount of viewing does matter."

Keeping a TV in your child's bedroom is not a wise parenting decision, based on the evidence available.

A growing body of research shows strong links between a TV in the bedroom and numerous health and educational problems.

Children with TVs in their bedroom:

Score lower on school tests
Are more likely to have sleep problems
Are more likely to be overweight
May have an increased risk of smoking
Tend to consume more unhealthy foods

Clearly, the vast majority of kids and teens are in dire need of more exercise. However, based on the findings reported in the journal Pediatrics this month, exercising more may not be enough to compensate for the detrimental impact of TV and computer use.
The other side of the equation is shutting off your TV and computer more often...
As reported by Live Science:
"The study found that regardless of age, gender, socioeconomic status, or whether a child had hit puberty, more than two hours a day in front of a TV or computer was associated with more emotional and behavioral difficulties.
Most importantly, the connection between screen time and psychological problems held regardless of how much overall physical activity the kids engaged in."
What that means is that it's not a sedentary lifestyle that poses the greatest risk to your child's mental health, but rather the activities your child engages in while being sedentary.
Other sedentary activities, such as reading or doing homework, had no detrimental impact on the children's mental health.
Another interesting fact was that the total amount of time spent on sedentary activities in general also did not have a negative impact on mental health – only the amount of time spent watching TV or in front of the computer impacted their psychology and behavior.

ℒℴѵℯ

2010-10-19T02:06:00.001-05:00

Adoption Completed!!!

2010-09-02T01:26:00.003-05:00

It took me a bit to get this up, but wanted to let everyone know that our domestic adoption was completed as of August 24th. The hearing was not what I anticipated, but I don't know what I did expect. The outcome is really all that matters. He's a Taylor! So proud of all we've been thru. I wish the citizenship would come just as soon, but it's all in His time and I feel so blessed with this. Thanks for all of your prayers

God is good. All the time.

Tell Me About It

2010-09-01T04:46:00.000-05:00

My bestest Nora posted this on a fb discussion board and I wanted to share it too. It made me kind of tear up, laugh a little, and nod in awe at how well put it is. I get the question from people "what did you do today?" every day and never even know how to put it into words!

I recently experienced that realization that certain people just don't have very maternal instincts. Nothing wrong with it, but when you are like me and go from 100% independent, jet-setting, working, and playing to "mama" some people don't have a clue. This isn't an insult. I didn't have a clue before. My point in posting the article is that, a friend is a friend, no matter what stage in life each of you are in. Everyone needs to vent sometimes and a true friend is there to support and most of all NOT JUDGE.

On the flip side, I've been surprised by some people without kiddos who have been even more supportive than before and involved. The way I look at it is: If you're my close friend, then you're my family, and your family is my family.

Read it and tell me your thoughts.

TELL ME ABOUT IT ®

by Carolyn Hax of the Washington Post

Carolyn:

Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): Wow. Sorry. What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group . . .

Okay. I've done Internet searches, I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners . . . I do all those things, too, and I don't do them EVERY DAY. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events) and I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy -- not a bad thing at all -- but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a peeing contest ("My life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks get the same story and have the same questions.

Tacoma, Wash.

Relax and enjoy. You're funny.

Or you're lying about having friends with kids.

Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.

Internet searches?
ad_icon

I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.

So, since it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. In list form. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, clean, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces the kind of checkout-line screaming that gets the checkout line shaking its head.

It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.

It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.

It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends, well-meaning and otherwise. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.

It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything -- language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything.

It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you to mutual friends, or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand or keep your snit to yourself.

Adoption Update... Court and Paperwork

2010-08-16T12:20:00.004-05:00

Good news! We have a court date set for August 24th! PRAYERS PLEASE. We are going in hopes to complete our domestic adoption.

We have very little paperwork from Haiti in support of Isaac's situation and because of that we are going in with a second order to ask for temporary custody granted in MO. Technically I was given custody/sponsorship of him on January 26th in Florida by DHS, but if the judge does not find that or our supporting documents sufficient we will ask for our second choice of temporary custody and then have to wait another 6 months for an adoption hearing. This is certainly not ideal because we will have to find a social worker in AZ to report back to our agency here and then ultimately have to renew our home study again, fingerprints probably, and fly back home for any court proceedings. All of this just means more time and money.

So within the last 2 weeks I've got a copy of his birth certificate from Washington (working on getting it translated hopefully). As of today I have a copy of the affidavit that Chris (the orphanage director) wrote in support of his story with details of how he came to HIS Home for Children and that he was placed there for the purpose of adoption. Hopefully the notarized original arrives in time for court. Of course, this still may not be enough to satisfy the judge, but I think that this in addition to my dossier, post placement home study, and paperwork from DHS in Florida will be a good case in a difficult situation.

Once we get the domestic adoption completed we will hopefully start the process of citizenship for him. Pray that this will go smoothly. Our family services lawyer recommended that we then hire an immigration lawyer, but one thing at a time right now :)

Thanks for all your support! Mwen renmen ou tout

Don't Forget Haiti

2010-07-22T17:49:00.003-05:00

With only 2% of promised funds to the devastated country delivered so far. Help us with a project where you know where your money is going and when =)

Six months ago, a magnitude 7.0 earthquake shook the city of Port-au-Prince, Haiti to the ground and many lost their lives. The need in Haiti is still so great. With a heart for embracing orphans among others in need, Embrace Point is partnering with JBA Haiti in support of the Cabaret Baptist Children's Home and School.

The community is in need of a new vehicle and we are close to reaching our goal, but we need your help to cross that finish line!

Embrace the community of Cabaret with us, donate now, and together we can make a difference!

Donate HERE: Embrace Point: Help Haiti Project

Help Haiti Act PASSED

2010-07-21T21:40:00.002-05:00

According to Joint Council on International Children's Services last nite in the U.S. House of Representatives: Fortenberry's Help Haiti Act passed, along with Lofgren's International Adoption Harmonization Act!

As I understand it, this will lead to a speedier path for our children to citizenship once they have completed domestic adoptions. SO.... good news. We are still waiting to hear from our lawyers about moving forward with our adoption in MO. Keep the prayers coming.

Father's Day 2010

2010-06-22T00:18:00.005-05:00

I had a lot of thoughts going thru my head on Father's Day this year. Most started with all the well wishes to myself and other mothers as well as debates on FB about what constitutes a "father" and so on. I didn't see these kind of debates on Mother's Day, although there are some daddy's holding their children down alone too!

I summed up my feelings in one post "Happy Father's Day to all the daddy's out there! We r so blessed to have an amazing Grandpa in Isaac's life & grateful for all the men who've been involved as strong examples. I appreciate all the well wishes directed to myself & other single parents playing both roles. My prayers r for the earthly daddy that I hope Isaac will have someday:) I pray my baby grows to know that his birthfather loved him as well... AND most importantly that it is his Father in heaven who paid the ultimate sacrifice for him." I could go on, but you get my point.

Really I never thought in a million years I'd be a single mother, let alone by choice. It is the most amazing gift the Lord has given me thus far in my life. But still. I pray for a father figure for Isaac. I pray for a godly, masculine, leader in his life. I know the significance of a child learning by example. How do we expect a man or woman to know how to be in a relationship when they've never seen it to emulate?

Just food for thought.

I have always prided myself in how independent I am, but pride is a sin. And one thing the Lord has taught me is that being a woman is a blessing. It should be embraced and celebrated. Somewhere along the way we lost that and went the opposite direction glorifying a 'superwoman'. YES these women deserve praise and support. They have risen up and overcome hardships in many different forms. But that is because their situation is not ideal. What we should do is glorify and spotlight the men who are being MEN. Thank God for them.

This blog is interesting. You could argue some of his examples, but he's just trying to paint a picture. And I agree with him on many levels.

Happy Father's Day: Absent Fathers Have Black Men Acting Like Women

First Day of School

2010-06-01T14:40:00.002-05:00

He's just around the corner, but shorty started pre-school today at The Purple Dragon. Such a grown lil man!

CNN's 'Rescued'

2010-05-10T14:57:00.016-05:00

So I noticed this story posted on a friend's facebook page. I opened the link and read the story... thinking how likely the little 2 year old be could be mine. It gave me chills then. But unfortunately I was on mission in Uganda and couldn't watch the show.

Then I received a couple messages asking if I had seen the special on CNN because it is Isaac that Soledad O'Brien is speaking about.

'Rescued': A story that called to me

Read the dramatized description yourself. And to think the healthy boy at home with me is the same child!

I think it's important to note that both the Manassero's and Nungester's are great families living their lives for the people in Haiti and I have witnessed their extraordinary work first hand. Tasha and I took Poutchino to the Manassero's home the day after the the quake to get his IV put in. Chis Nungester was there with others set up out in tents in front of their home. Thank the Lord for people like them!

If anyone knows how to obtain one... I'd like a copy of the show. Have also tried contacting CNN's Ms. O'Brien and commenting on the article, but of course, have no response nor was my comment approved to be published. Hmmmmm maybe knowing that little boy's fate isn't what they are really after... especially if it involves adoption into a loving family.

This clip has Isaac in his playpen for a second. For those of you who don't know, the orphanage did not hold up thru aftershocks the day after I left Port au Prince. They were all moved to the church yard at Quisqueya Chapel for safety and care, but under very difficult conditions Isaac became very ill:

and at 8:00 minutes into this one. City Soleil is where he was born...

I don't want my children to be happy

2010-03-30T22:42:00.005-05:00

Parenthood. Let's just get one thing straight. I don't like to play the bad guy. Honestly I thought I'd be better at it. It's just so much fun to see the one thing you love most in the world smile. It is already evident that Isaac needs structure and discipline. I've compared dogs, adolescents, athletes, etc. to children in their need to push their boundaries. Now i have a child and it is so obvious. Children need and crave those boundaries. Ultimately the things they don't get or the delayed gratification is done with LOVE. If all we did was play and he never learned to be a gentleman (there are so few these days), would i really be a good mama?! So Isaac, my goal is not your happiness, nor was it my parents' goal and i appreciate that more and more :-)

I recently saw this blog linked from another and this mother write about my sentiments exactly.... here. Worth the read.

Many of us adults can take the advice of how to be content rather than happy. Everyday brings more challenges. Overcoming them in a way that is pleasing to God is the most important lesson we can pass on to our children.

Isaac livin it up in KCMO!

2010-03-15T15:25:00.000-05:00

sometimes i forget not everyone has fb. some new pics of the love of my life!

raining baby showers

2010-03-10T15:55:00.011-06:00

SHOWER #1

SHOWER #2

SHOWER #3

be grounded

2010-03-07T19:19:00.004-06:00

Church this morning really spoke to me and i wanted to share with ya. Pastor Purkey preached on Mark, chapter 4, The Parable of the Sower.

He spoke on the power of words and speaking God's word. At some point, no matter who you are, we will all be overwhelmed by our responsibilities and the world. You need to ask yourself... Am i on good ground? It is entirely possible to come to church and still be of the world.

If you are in the word, they will not understand your faith and your commitment. They wonder why you go to church on Sundays or whenever. But those of you who are there know that LIFE is being spoken. Mark also spoke about the possibility of being excited about the word, but lacking "roots". Do not mistake emotional reaction for spiritual depth.

It is essential that you have enough roots to withstand. Ground yourself to be able to take the next step. Some of you are just a step or two away from a blessing. There are so many cares of the world to get caught up in... whether it's emotional, financial, spiritual, success, lust, money, work, home, etc. The enemy is trying to wear you out! But if you seek the kingdom of God, everything else will fall into place. God doesn't mind you having things... He minds things having you!

God will provide. You can't just say 'I want my blessing' and leave the blesser... or 'I want to be healed' and leave the the healer.

It is up to us to be spiritually mature enough to discern what is choking you? What are you worried about? Pastor Purkey spoke on how we should be grateful for what we have... That none of us rode to church on a bike (and the church laughed)... That none of us live in a tent (and i cried). Yes, i tie everything back to Haiti in my mind.

There are so many people who only dream of having what we have on what we think is our very worst days. We should strive to praise and thank the Lord and to stand grounded in His word no matter our circumstances. Because if you treasure something other than Him, you can be sure He knows how to take that away.

Ima leave you with a video that Isaac and i listen to just about everyday by Wyclef and Mavado... both talented artists that sing meaning into many of their songs.

This only takes 5 seconds

2010-03-04T14:13:00.002-06:00

This month, world leaders will map out Haiti's future. But no one has given Haiti's poor a seat at the table. Send a msg to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

If we don't act now, the inequality & poverty that plagued this country for so long could be built into the very fabric of Haiti's reconstruction process.

Click HERE to sign a petition with Oxfam to give the Haitian people a voice in their own future.

Déjà vu?... Terremoto en Chile

2010-02-27T15:04:00.009-06:00

I will never know how to put into words the way my life has been affected and forever changed by the quake in Haiti. But now another in Tokyo and in Chile.

When I heard last night my heart dropped. I felt sick again. All I keep thinking thru it all is how I have no need to prove myself. Why does my strength need to be tested? It takes me back to the question: Why is the Lord entrusting me with such difficult things?

I lived in Santiago de Chile after college. I spent one month in Buenos Aires, Argentina and then worked in Santiago. I learned so much in my time there and made such wonderful friends. This tragedy feels eerily like places and people I love are being rocked to their very core. Really? Are Italy and the US next?

As I've been thru various emotions since last night again. I realize that I am not worried for my friends too terribly. They love the Lord and our lives are in His hands. Chile has an amazing infrastructure and the contrast between reactions from both the people and the government is already so drastic.

This quake was a magnitude of 8.8. I think most people know by now... that is not big, it's MASSIVE. It's confusing the way they work, but the 7.0 in Haiti was more shallow and the shaking was actually greater. Cement buildings, as in Haiti, are also the most dangerous. Many people in Haiti did not know what an earthquake was, let alone what to do in an occurrence. The quake at 3:35 a.m. in Chile, a dangerous time because most people are inside their homes asleep, took place south of Santiago near Concepci ón. It would take nearly EVERY PERSON in Concepci ón to die in the quake to equal the death toll in Port-au-Prince.

As you can imagine, I couldn't sleep again last night. Knowing that there is very little communication and seeing how long it took to get info from the devastation in Haiti, I know we are just waiting to hear the reality. And even then the news portray a half-truth and partial story of it all.

I've recently spoke with my bestest, Carmen. She is in Peru and her family in Chile is okay. I've also heard via fb from my friend Cecy and she is fine but without communication. Right now we must all continue to pray for the people who've lost loved ones. Under 200 known at this point. And to pray for those who are now homeless, jobless, etc. Tsunami headed towards Hawaii. I hope that everyone has had sufficient time to get their things in order and head to somewhere safe.

Dios bendiga a Chile y todo nos conocidos del areas de terremotos.

Rice and Beans

2010-02-22T22:17:00.001-06:00

diri ak pwa

Thank you to all of the wonderful people who came to our baby showers and donated rice and beans to Haiti. We were able to drop them off at the First Baptist Haitian church this past Sunday. You guys are wonderful!

(¯`v´¯)
.`·.¸.·´

We Shall Rise Again

2010-02-21T22:15:00.000-06:00

A video with a song for Haiti made by Carribean artists Sean Paul, Shaggy, Sean Kingston, Etanna, Tessane Chin, David Rudder, Kes, Allison Hinds & Destra, Mika & Belo. Better than we are the world... Check it.

nou se mond la

2010-02-18T14:48:00.005-06:00

So this has been a tough week for me. I've had the flu and to make it sound worse H1N1. I've never been down and out this long before. My mind has been all over the place and I go between grateful and distraught often. I'm grateful for the many gifts Isaac has received from our friends and family. Then i'm overwhelmed by how much we have when so many have so little. I'm grateful for those who care to help me get to the doctor, care for my baby, n understanding while i'm so sick. Then i'm burdened with morbid thoughts about people who don't have that. I'm stressed thinking about falling behind on more of my daily chores. Then i think about how blessed i am to be sick and have access to a hospital and water and crackers. Then i think about how little i've eaten and how this skinny look is not cute. But it is temporary and i know that with a certainty others do not have. Those of you who know me know i get restless legs. Idleness, lack of sleep, dehydration, etc all make it worse. It's really miserable. Then i imagine how those buried alive under rubble felt... miserable and fearful. This is just all part of my thoughts and thoughts i know many others deal with at some point in time.

I wish i could share with all the beautiful children in Haiti how much the world cares about them and loves them. There is so much sympathy that i am inspired each day. In feeling the earth shake, knowing the fear n the stench, in my sickness, and now missing haiti and my kids i am somewhat empathetic.... with a rare glimpse into the plight of the people.... i am humbled.

Here's a short video of the boys the morning we went up the hill to pray together.... lol and i put Ronal's favorite song in the background :)

Awwww Jennifer Hudson wow. What beautiful voices! And of course I love me some Wyclef. My favorite line of this touching song redone is... "someone to help you rebuild after the rubble's gone"

President Preval Accepts Christ

2010-02-12T17:25:00.000-06:00

Newletter from a missionary I know in Haiti, Dottie Diehl.

PRAISE THE LORD.............PRESIDENT PRUEVAL JUST OPENLY, PUBLICLY ACCEPTED CHRIST INTO HIS HEART. IT WAS SAID HE SAID THAT HAITI MUST TURN BACK TO GOD, AND SOMETHING ABOUT THE YOUTH OF HAITI BEING THE FUTURE EVERYONE MUST REPENT AND CHANGE THEIR WAYS!!!!

I'm sure it will be on TV, it is already on radio here. I was not there, do not know what church, but he was at a church somewhere this morning.

MILLIONS OF PEOPLE ALL OVER HAITI BEGAN PRAYING BEFORE SUNUP THIS MORNING. I KNOW IT WAS THE MOST SIGNIFIGANT PART OF MY PRAYER, FOR THE GOVERNMENT AND PRUEVAL HIMSELF TO ACCEPT CHRIST. THANK YOU JESUS, THANK YOU JESUS A MILLION TIMES OVER.

NOW DON'T STOP PRAYING.............. BEGIN TO PRAY FOR HIS PROTECTION AND KNOWLEDGE OF THE TRUE SAVIOR. GIVE HIM STRONG GODLY MEN TO UPHOLD HIS DECISIONS AND TO STAND STRONG AND TO BE BOLD FOR THE COUNTRY.

THIS IS A WONDERFUL BEGINNING, LETS SEE WHAT THE NEXT TWO DAYS MAY BRING..........

Dottie

www.tlcbarefootschool.com

Haiti mourns one month after devastating quake

2010-02-12T03:51:00.001-06:00

President Rene Preval has asked for 3 days of praise in worship to lift Haiti to God. I'm joining my sister n Much Ministries in 3 days of fasting n prayer. Wherever u are please pray for #HAITI

Haiti mourns one month after devastating quake

what is happening to the children now?

2010-02-11T17:07:00.000-06:00

Immediately after the quake the number one question I received was "what did it feel like?". That has now turned into "What do you think about the Americans who tried to take the children across to the Dominican?". Oh the power of the media!

What I think is that they were most likely well-meaning, ignorant people. They may have actually had permission from someone who was not legit and didn't know any better. It does frustrate me because they gave organizations like UNICEF ammunition to put a halt on children being placed with their families... families that have already been matched and established for them. UNICEF has been vocal and I've heard forceful about trying to put a stop to expediting any adoptions at the critical time. They are steady proponents against adoption all over the world.

Do I ALWAYS believe adoption is best? NO. The amount of money the thousands of people around the world spend on adoption could be put into the economies of these troubled nations and completely change the situations these children are in. But then again if everyone gave (just a small amount) we would have the very same effect. They still say 20% of people who can give give 80% of the donations. The world is not perfect.

Most of the orphans we speak of DO HAVE FAMILIES... If you haven't seen it you really can't imagine it. If you haven't lived it you will never truly understand it. That is why the Lord gives us GRACE and why we hold on to our FAITH. I try to explain to people that there are generally 3 options for many of these children that are eligible for adoption...
1. They stay with immediate or extended family will little to no food, water, shelter, schooling, ect. Every situation is different. But the thing that is missing for many is HOPE.
OR
2. They are taken in at an institution such as an orphanage. Depending on the organization they have a much greater chance at 2-3 meals each day and an education.
OR
3. They can be adopted in to a family where they get individual love and care and a chance to thrive with a new sense of belonging and hope.

Study after study shows that a child who feels safe in a home and part of the family excels in each area of their life, more so than those in institutions and even in foster-type care. I would absolutely love for some of the stable families in Haiti to adopt these children, but sadly this is rarely the case. There, of course, is the restavek mentality and even if every one of them decided to take in one orphaned child as their own it still would not be enough. Over half of Haiti's population is under 18. There are tens of thousands of orphans. So that leaves us with a situation, much like my own, where families in other countries attempt to give these children loving homes.

At the end of the day we are all people. Somos humanos. An organization who is too preoccupied with a political agenda without thinking of the people they are "protecting" is not one I can support. I've learned much about big organizations and how things play out and it is hard not to be cynical. But I would rather be cynical than naive. There are many good people working for organizations such as UNICEF and the Red Cross. But it important to know that their 'political-ness' has resulted in deaths of innocent children. And beyond that, bringing some of these children home to a place they are headed to anyway only opens up room for our children still on the streets to be taken in at an orphanage to be cared for. Last I heard the orphanage directors' phones were ringing off the hook with the police stations and hospitals discharging children with no where to go.

Special Field Report: Haiti's Orphans Held Hostage from Douglas Phillips on Vimeo.

my heart is broken

2010-02-11T01:33:00.002-06:00

Oh how life is precious and how being a parent puts so much into perspective... Every time my baby smiles I think I'm just a lil more relieved. He's safe with me.... But he's always been safe in GOD's hands. I don't worry so much about him (except maybe the fear of spoiling him too much). BTW... first word is "hello" but only when holding a cell phone to his ear LOL

What I do think (worry) about is the unsettled feeling inside me... I can't shake the desire to be back in Haiti. I want to help. I want to educate. I want to cry. I want a few days back where I was at that hospital, or back on my couch after I arrived home watching CNN n following news stories literally 24 hours a day. OK OK maybe I don't want that. But I know I don't want my old life back.

Experiencing a disaster like this one is too big for me. Thank God, He is much bigger. I've thought about how no one should ever see anyone die. Then I think how the bodies were too numerous to count. Then my mind goes back to particular instances...
The older man we went to Red Cross to donate blood for that very morning in Port au Prince. His son found me in the crowd and brought me to hold his hand, pray over his father, and just BE there. None of his other family members knew his father had passed. And there was no way to call them.
The father who cried on my shoulder while we watched his baby being sewn with no anesthesia.
The young girl who latched onto me and cried in pain thru the night saying "kouche" (lay down) and "kenbe mwen" (hold me).
The young boy whose arm was badly broken. His mother paced by our car repeating "I see one with my eyes. I have six, Lord. I see one with my eyes."

The need is so great... The death numbers still climbing. There is little to no infrastructure to take care of these people post operation, no IVs, no oxygen, no antibiotics, no basic aid, only to go back on the street, most without a home to go to. The physical, emotional, and spiritual turmoil of the people fills my thoughts and prayers.

Just days before the tè tremblé (earthquake) I prayed the prayer, "LORD BREAK MY HEART FOR THE THINGS THAT BREAK YOURS" and... my heart is now more broken than it's ever been.

This is a video made in 2009. The footage is from Citè Soleil, where Isaac was born. The dominos make me smile.

Definition of a Restavek

2010-02-09T23:56:00.000-06:00

I feel like I've explained this concept so much that It'd be great to post about it. My dad put this on his fb status the other day. I love the simple fact sheet.

In his words...

"RESTAVEK--If you do the math according to this article Over 348,000 (1 in 10) children in Haiti, in order to survive, are in the child labor force.

UNICEF estimates that Over 1 in 20 (or over 124,000) children will die. Yet UNICEF Stopped the Humanitarian Parole for the legal adoptions ofchildren out of the country, of whom ...almost all if not all would go to loving families, So if they stay in the country 3 in 20 will die or be forced to work. So is UNICEF--more politically motivated than really caring for the children."

Child Labour Statistics

As a woman adopting from Haiti I've had the occasional questions from the Haitian people while I am there. They wonder what my intentions are towards my baby. It may seem foreign to us that they would question the depth of our love for a child we bring into our home. But in a culture where it is relatively common to bring a child into the home to provide work, you can sorta put their inquisitiveness / suspiciousness into perspective.

baby gettin settled

2010-02-03T23:08:00.004-06:00

we've been speaking and to schools and had lots and lots of company. isaac is feeling much better and i have never enjoyed one person more (especially in such a small package)... told my mom tonight she never told me how great it was to be a mom, must not have wanted us to be big headed LOL

from Haiti to the USA... what to expect

2010-02-01T23:46:00.000-06:00

Last night i found myself sad that Isaac is so young and will not really remember Haiti. It's not so much that he can't speak kreyol (and i really want him to learn), but i wish he could sing to me... the other adoptive parents of Haiti know what i mean. They sing and dance so much i feel a little sad he can't learn that here. Maybe we'll move back to Haiti ;)

On the other hand, we are so lucky he won't remember much of the earthquake and the tougher things. He isn't experiencing so much of the trauma the other children are. A facebook friend commented that "..after everything you and him have gone through its nice to know from now on he'll have a fighter in his momma always at his back. Enjoy!"

Chris posted the following after so many families were writing about the children being deathly afraid of family pets. Luckily Isaac is so young he has no problem with Maya. ...
"according to Haitian beliefs, cats can change into Loogaroos, loup-garou (pronounced lugaru) – it’s the French word for werewolf – basically. Kids are afraid of them for the reason that some cats are thought to change into people which can steal children. If a cat walks directly at them looking into their eyes, it is thought to be a loogaroo. If it runs away, it is considered to be a stupid cat that is just afraid of people. Dogs pose a different threat. Dogs are not kept in Haiti as pets. Their only purpose is for guarding the home. Dogs are intentionally taught to attack strangers, and children are taught to avoid ALL dogs because they are considered dangerous."

Tonight i listened in on the Haitian Adoption Trauma Webinar. It was educational and some a little repetitive to me. So, I'm sad he won't remember all this and glad at the same time. What i have to do is just makes sure he knows and loves Haiti and where he came from just like so many of us do!

A message from Hal (HIS Home orphanage director) on 1/28

2010-02-01T11:41:00.002-06:00

I am so thankful
Right now my emotions are so raw that I just am elated one moment and tearing up the next. I am so grateful for all that you have all done for the kids and my family. God is Good!!! I am so thankful that the kids that have been united with their forever families got out of here before France and Unicef started their posturing. I wasn't very nice to a Unicef team the other day when they visited and refused to talk with them yesterday when they returned to tell me that I could not move any of the children without their permission. We have secured the new big house and will begin moving and preparations next week. Thank you for your prayers in that matter. Chris and the kids got in to Lima late last night/early this morning. Thank you for your prayers in that matter. We still have about 12 children that were in the very beginning stages of adoptions that we need to get out of here. Please be in prayer for these families that want to be united with their children. They are currently going through all of the emotions that you have all been through for the past 2 1/2 weeks. Their journey is not over and they desperately need our prayers. Thank you for your continued prayers for me. I slept in my bed (not very well) last night and determined that I am ready to go when God decides He wants me. Keep this process bathed in prayer until it is over for everybody. Blessings on all of you my dear CHRISTian brothers and sisters!!! Give all of my beautiful children hugs and kisses from Pastor and never forget that God truly did move mountains to get your children home (Natalie). :-) Love, Hal

KC Woman Finally Brings Home Adopted Haitian Son

2010-01-29T03:27:00.000-06:00

Thanks Amy for the story... and thanks to my fabulous family and friends for being there to greet us and spend time his first night in KC.

I talked a lil to channel 5 reporter Amy Anderson and as soon as this statement came out of my mouth i knew they'd pick that part to air. I said "So happy to be home. I don't think i've ever been so happy to be back in kansas city, ever" LOLOLOL...

KCTV 5 - January 29, 2010

We Got Our Papers!

2010-01-26T17:42:00.000-06:00

Just wanted to let everyone know. It hasn't been easy, but His House (so ironic right?) took AMAZING care of our children. Spent today at the doctor with Isaac and 3 other children who were sick or injured. Then got our Rx at Publix and headed back. They were waiting to take his photo and within 15 minutes I had my papers to take him with me!!! Of course we waited for rides and of course, I still have to ADOPT him. But I have 2 years to complete it. I've signed away my right to leave the country, even alone (OMG), without contacting DHS and will have so much red tape to go thru. But the amazing thing is he's here WITH me while i do it. Miracle after Miracle. He's absolutely the most precious child ever and i get to be his mama... :-)

Update... Miami and more waiting

2010-01-26T03:37:00.000-06:00

Been a long day... okay long two weeks! Between the drama of not knowing if Isaac was coming and getting a ticket for this morning, cancelling it, rebooking it, etc. All i have to say is GOD IS GOOD. Isaac was granted humanitarian parole JUST last night and i want to thank Senator Bond's office for calling on my behalf. My file was one of only a few that had someone specifically lobbying for them and they knew that my baby was ill and needed urgent care.

It is a MIRACLE he's here. We (some adoptive families) spent the evening/night/early morning hours in a room at the Miami airport and then on buses to wait for the kids to land from Orlando! We left the airport to go separately to a 'remote location' to be interviewed with DHS.

Still haven't held my boy... but just arrived back at the sbeach hotel now for a lil rest... 3 hours yay! Isaac's sick but in a bed for the first time in 2 weeks at this wonderful 'remote local' where they have cottages, food, medicine, and good people to care for them. AND i saw my sister before she headed to catch the grey hound. Can't tell you how good it was to hug n talk to her for a while :))

We will be back at it again mañana (a few hours actually). This is a process that's never been done before. Continue praying - for it to go smoothly tomorrow, for our adoptions to be completed quickly (we have 2 years parole to get it done), transitioning for the children here, and for all the orphans still in limbo.

MUCH LOVE,

Isaac's in the US

2010-01-25T11:45:00.000-06:00

Half-way home... okay not half way, but the hard part was getting him from Port au Prince to Florida. They left in the middle of the night bc a new law today was going to make it more difficult.

Natasha flew on a flight and arrived about 1 a.m. with news that Isaac was coming an hour later or the next morning (depending on who you talked to). She thought we had all been called and i explained that i hadn't been called at all.

Last night after finding out from the Haitian Adoption Task Force (these volunteers were so nice and so wonderful) that he was granted the Humanitarian Parole, i went ahead and booked the flight to Miami that i had on hold. Within minutes i had an email stating "I am sorry, but Kervenson will not be flying on this trip." Heartbreaking.

I cancelled the flight and tried to sleep. Got news from Tash about 2 hours later. It's been a rollercoaster and is def far from over. Thanks to everyone who's been praying and supporting. It means more than words can express.

Keep praying. I'm getting frantic phone calls from parents who don't have word. Give them peace of mind. Pray for the process to go quickly because it could take a while. I really want to see him today. And continue to pray for all the children of Haiti.

Are You Listening - Kirk Franklin + Friends Haiti Relief Song

2010-01-24T04:36:00.000-06:00

my favorite part... He's got the whole world in His hands...

THE PITCH Kansas City

2010-01-22T19:09:00.004-06:00

Amanda Taylor's photos from Haiti paint a distressing picture

By Nadia Pflaum

Updates... embassy and the wait

2010-01-22T16:38:00.001-06:00

They 56 kids spent last night at the US Embassy in Haiti to be the first ones in line. Important to know that no visas were denied. There was only a paper chase to get more documents so today we hope they could get these processed. If you call your Senators continue to thank them for the job they are doing. We need the Embassy to move forward.

Then later we receive this text from orphanage director: EMBASSY STONEWALLING; MOBILIZE U.S. SENATORS.

It's frustrating to say the least. But we have to remember that we have wonderful people taking care of our children. They have what they need. Isaac may be sick (vomiting and diarrhea), but he is in good hands.

We don't have any news, but another adoptive family helped us understand why there isn't any. Having been to that embassy, they take your cell phone away before you go through security. If you go out and use it, you must go back through security and the lines are long on a good day.

Another family adopting from HIS Home sent a message for Chris and Hal today. The Canadian government is coming to pick up and take 86 canadian kids home. We are all so happy for these children. Praise God some families are being united. Oh don't I wish I were Canadian!

P.S. Both UNICEF and RED CROSS have been very vocal in the media about their anti-adoption sentiments. And supposedly "UNICEF verbally assaulted Stephanie Thoet with A Love Beyond Borders just last night as she helped load two childrne on a plane to the Netherlands. She said that she feared her safety and the safety of the children. The Netherlands officials contacted their government and the government in fact HAD approved their evacuation. This is a very, very serious situation. These children need to get out! They have families!"

Adoption Task Force sounds like a great asset we may just need to give them time to get up & going.

STILL WAITIN' STILL PRAYIN'

DONATIONS Eske ou ka ede nou, souple?

2010-01-21T13:31:00.000-06:00

DONATIONS Eske ou ka ede nou, souple?

Now what all of us need to realize is that every natural disaster is a different beast. And every organization specializes in different areas. But ALSO that the needs are constantly changing as the situation changes.

I fully understand the feeling of wanting to donate items. Reuse before you recycle right? Well it’s not that simple. We have actually had people give winter clothes for donations to Haiti. You think, no big deal, just toss it right? Well not exactly. If I don’t have time to sort ever bit of donations given and get these unusable items to Haiti: 1. They don’t have a garbage system like we do, these items end up polluting the streets of an already contaminated and overcrowded area and 2. Items like pharmaceuticals not needed in there or long expired can not be discarded safely without further contaminating the ground and water and 3. The people who try to throw out these items can be in actual legal trouble if someone takes the discarded items and try to resell them. Again this is a very viable outcome (see my photo of a Haitian “Wall-mart”)

Another thing to think about, and my local business, fair trade buying friends will understand this, is that buying items regionally helps to put money back into the economy there. It helps to stimulate growth.

Not only do we want to aid and give relief to the people of Haiti. We want to rebuild. Give RESTORATION. In my eyes this comes in two forms: 1. Showing God’s love by helping to rebuild a community infrastructure for sustainability and 2. Prayers – continually for the people and theirs hearts for GOD. 1 Thessalonians 5:17

I want to make a list of the orphanages I am deeply invested in and where the money myself (and Embrace Point) are giving to 100%. Now I can’t tell you what exactly the fund will be used for as the need changes daily. In the beginning it was for food, medical supplies, and water to one orphanage, then another fell in the aftershocks, then it was brought to my attention another could house more homeless and orphaned individuals with money to buy provisions for more people, etc. So as the funds come in and as the opportunity arises to get them there I will keep you all abreast of how we are all pulling together to help.

Here are the places with children near and dear to my heart!

His Home for Children (where I am adopting from)

Dorothy’s Infant Rescue (located in Port au Prince)

Much Ministries (non profit based in GA where my sister works)

JBA Haiti affiliated with Cabaret Baptist Children's School & Home (where my family and I have been volunteering for six years)

Again, God Bless. As I reposted on Twitter and FB "dont kid urself, a hot meal, a hot shower, and some loving friends is no small thing... Im soo thankful!" – Rev Run Wisdom

Updates... tents and visas

2010-01-20T23:10:00.000-06:00

Chris (orphanage director) is headed to the Embassy tomorrow morning with 56 children that comprise groups 1 & 2. If their visas are finalized they could be headed to OH on an American Airlines flight

Group 1 - Children who are sick and needing medical attention

Group 2 - Children whose papers where in IBESR (second legal) and beyond

Group 3 - Children who qualify for the Humanitarian parole but are not yet in second legal

Isaac and I are in group 3 (i think), but I got a message from my mom that she heard from Tasha they were moving him to group 1 since he is sick!

The tents arrived today and they were setting them up for sleeping quarters. Finally some shelter. Supplies were ok – but they are VERY excited to get the shipment coming in from those at the DR border tonight. They are in DIRE NEED of diapers! Oh imagine that one!

Chris mentioned that we want to be prepared as parents for is the fact that many children are taking the earthquakes well, but many also seem to be terrified to go into buildings because they’ve seen the devastation when buildings have collapsed. She said they are VERY excited but are also upset realizing that they are going to be splitting up very soon.

Continue to.... you guessed it! PRAY

Prayer Vigil for the people of Haiti

2010-01-20T14:40:00.000-06:00

The community is invited to St. James United Methodist Church at 7 p.m. for a community prayer vigil for the people of earthquake-stricken Haiti.

The Rev. Judson Pierre of the First Haitian Baptist Church will join U.S. Rep. Emanuel Cleaver, who is a United Methodist minister. St. James is at 5540 Wayne Ave.

Thank you Kansas City

2010-01-20T14:19:00.000-06:00

More media, more help, more caring people...

KC Star article today

KCBC TV 9 short bit with Peggy Breit at P&L yesterday

FOX4 News KC interview with Eric Burke

More Updates... Praying for papers (as always;))

2010-01-20T13:16:00.001-06:00

"Chris (Chris and Hal are the orphanage directors) is at the AA hanger in PAP. She said they have agreed to fly the children out for free as soon as their papers are ready. And, have also offered to get the children to their home cities. I don't know any details. She also said the 74 children getting adoption VISAs are fine (still getting the paperwork finalized), but that we need to keep trying to push humanitarian parole for the other 25 at His Home for Children. She had to cut the call short, but asked me to call her again later."

A group of adoptive fathers and mothers landed in the DR, and are loaded, and I quote "In a beautiful chartered bus with air conditioning driving along the ocean. We're gonna sleep well and be ready!" GOD IS SO GOOD!

1 Thessalonians 5:17 - pray without ceasing

This morning's quake

2010-01-20T13:04:00.000-06:00

My people are OKAY! The children of HIS Home do not have shelter which turned out to be a blessing in this morning's aftershock registering a 6.0 Earthquake. Dorothy and the kids are okay. And the Children at Cabaret Children's Home are reported fine as well. MESI JEZI. And thank you for all of your concerns. Just trying to get them out....

Update:

Homeland Security and State Department approved the Humanitarian Parole on Monday. Kervenson (Isaac) and I meet these qualifications. Thanks for your letters. Do not need anymore for that particular part. It worked!!! Hal, the orphanage director went to the US Embassy yesterday. He is working on a plan to get our children home, in different groups. I have no idea when, but ANY DAY.

Tasha is thinking of staying through February.

It is confusing about where I should send what documentation, but I'm working very hard. I will continue to do what I'm doing... these donations are going to people I know and trust in Haiti 100%... no overhead and no help for getting Isaac here unless someone only gives for that. I feel I can muster those resources. I had planned to strap my self with the limit thru customs of $10K and go back, but it looks like I need to stay ready to pick Isaac up in Florida or Chicago.

message i received... please HELP... contact CNN?

2010-01-19T12:07:00.000-06:00

Amanda,
This is the AC360 blog comment I saw last night that I want to make sure gets good attention. I sent it as a news tip to CNN, called CNN twice, called the US missing person line that was posted on Larry King last night (twice), but no one seemed to be hearing me. Surely they're on it, but I hate to leave that to chance.

PLEASE PASS ALONG!

Here it is:

Johnny Cummins January 18th, 2010 10:26 pm ET

Patricia Joseph From Magaly Delva, Petrouchka Moise: If anyone has contact on the ground in Haiti, my cousin Ginette is in the Banque National de Credit, and she is alive with others but they are trapped under the rubble. There are more than 10 people still alive... if you can pass this on, I would be so grateful.

Local Support

2010-01-19T12:05:00.000-06:00

KCTV 5 News Story on Jan. 18, 2010 continue to pray and get the word out. Fundraising and Aid still my number one priority as my baby is likely going to be home soon! Let's pull together and and help everyone.

KPRS HOT 103 JAMZ Online with my really good friends JT Quick and Sean Tyler yesterday. Thank you. MESI ZONMI MWEN!

Bush on CNN

2010-01-19T10:59:00.001-06:00

Former Presidents Bush and Clinton were together on CNN and I wanted to reiterate what was said to the people about giving. Sunday morning, President Bush noted strongly, that "you don't need to worry about the faith-based groups, they were there before the earthquake and they will be there (in Haiti) long after everyone is gone. They know what it means to love their neighbor as themselves."
THANK U FOR TELLING THE PEOPLE!

"The most effective way for Americans to help the people of Haiti is to contribute money. That money will go to organizations on the ground and will be – who will be able to effectively spend it. I know a lot of people want to send blankets or water – just send your cash."

Miracles Come From Tragedies

2010-01-19T00:01:00.000-06:00

When i have time i will finally begin to look for tickets to Miami to meet my baby. INSHALAH. And start looking for winter clothes for him. OMGoodness....

Thank you for continued support and donations. Hope to see every one of my KC peeps at P&L tomorrow! We have a very long journey of recovery, rebuilding, and rebirth in one of my favorite countries in the world.... HAITI

(¯`v´¯)
.`·.¸.·´

Please write to Senators & Congressman on our behalf

2010-01-18T10:45:00.000-06:00

Please everyone start writing your congressmen (if you haven't already) asking for Humanitarian Parole or evacuation for adoptive children in Haiti you do not have to be adopting to do this. Just tell your representative you expect them to push for this today!!!!

Example letter before to help you start.

Also as you write your congressmen please write to Senator Richard Lugar in Indiana. He is the main man in Foreign Affairs so even if you don't live in Indiana he needs to hear from you. Ask him to work with your Senator in getting this done. He is working very hard in getting this so add him to your list.

link = http://www.senate.gov/general/contact_information/senators_cfm.cfm

Dear Senator Bond & McCaskill & Lugar,

I am contacting you in regards to the pending adoptions of Haitian orphans. Please use your platform to expedite the process of these children coming to be with their families here in the US. Prior to the quake the situation in Haiti was dire...now it has become devastating. These babies and children need stability, they need a home, they need love, and they need to be with their family.

A dear friend of mine, Amanda Taylor, in Kansas City, MO is in the process of adopting a baby boy, Kervenson Merant, born April 29, 2008 from HIS Home for Children in Port-au-Prince, Haiti. Orphanage directors Hal and Chris Nungester have reported that Orphanage did not hold up due to aftershocks and the children are staying in a field outside of Quisqueya Chapel in the same Delmas neighborhood.

Thousands of children have become orphaned in the past week and many more will continue to become orphaned as additional Haitian's die from their injuries. We may not be able to save every life, or change the outcome of every situation, but we can make a difference for those that are still alive. The children currently in the orphanages who have pending US adoptions should be eligible for refugee status or have their adoptions expeditied by the US government.

USCIS has the authority to issue a humanitarian parole for Kervenson Merant to travel to the United States to live with his mother pending final adoption processing in Haiti. While granting a humanitarian parole is outside the normal procedures, the United States government has granted them in the past (e.g. Cambodia and Romania).

Many of the these orphanages are already overcrowded, and without the means to provide for the children. As additional children come to these orphanages, resources could be more readily available if some of the pending adoptive children are sent to their US families. PLEASE help these families, and children, you have the voice.

HELP HAITI

2010-01-18T00:17:00.000-06:00

P&L TUESDAY

2010-01-18T00:12:00.000-06:00

Miracles Can Happen

2010-01-17T23:55:00.004-06:00

And Miracles Do Happen.

Check This Video... Some of the photos are my very own!

"The people of Haiti will not be forsaken"

2010-01-17T20:34:00.004-06:00

REALLY??? And to think I voted for you.

When did the tarmac turn into a traffic jam? I was at the Port-au-Prince airport from sunrise until almost sunset on Thursday. I left more than 48 hours after the quake and when I did I saw nothing of the sort at the airport. Very few planes and most of what came out the airport doors were reporters.

Why did China make it to Haiti before the US? Why if I was Canadian could I have been evacuated with little wait. WHY?

I know I sound cynical. And maybe I am, but I am also grateful that aid has picked up. I'm grateful for the people all around the world who are giving with open hands and open hearts. Please don't stop. There is so much to do. LET US ALL BRING RESTORATION TO HAITI. And let this tragedy become a new beginning for the nation, building a better infrastructure and sustainability.

Watch CBS News Videos Online

QUAKE TESTIMONY

2010-01-16T13:58:00.005-06:00

Praise the Lord, we survived the quake!

Dorothy Pearce, my sister, and myself were on our way to Sacred Heart Hospital (CDTI), near the strongest area of the earthquake when it occurred. We had just left HIS Home for Children, where the 21-month old boy I am in the process of adopting lives. My initial thought was we were being bombed. In the car about 20 yards from the hospital gate we saw walls crashing into the street ahead in a wave toward the car. Not knowing what was actually happening all I could think of was to put the car into reverse. Dorothy was able to make one call out to her son in the US and the best we could hope was that he would tell our families that we survived the first quake.

Upon arriving to the hospital patients were being evacuated and injured people came to the gate from the streets. The nanny, Jesula, staying with 7-year old Poutchino from Dorothy's Infant Rescue was on the curb in shock. My sister, Natasha Taylor, ran in for young, sick Poutchino.

Hospital personnel worked throughout the night. The parking lot quickly turned into a massive clinic with severe devastation all around. Dorothy and I took turns holding a flashlight for a surgeon who was stitching wounds and gradually learned to do more. The screams of pain, devastation, and sorrow became a constant. Throughout the night people banged on the large metal gate to get in. Bodies lay spread all across the hospital parking lot with cries and the stench of blood and urine. Dead bodies were being stacked off to the side. Eventually many people were given IVs, they hung from tree limbs and parked cars. Later that evening the nurses and doctors distributed pain pills.

After holding a flashlight and surgical instruments I sat down from feeling light-headed and of nausea. On the curb a 12-year old girl who had just had a hand injury wrapped lay nearby watching me. I smiled to her and she slowly grabbed my hand. As I comforted her in a language she doesn't even understand she moved and curled her body around my feet. Eventually after she told me she was cold and needed a blanket I helped to carry her to the back of our car where Jesula sat trying to recover from shock and Natasha cared for Poutchino.

I spent much of the remainder of the night comforting this young girl. We sang and prayed together. She moaned and cried for me to hold her and to lay down. Elevating her arm that was bleeding rapidly thru the gauges was difficult. I cannot even begin to describe the night sitting there with her as she moved around and finally fell in and out of sleep.

Around 11 a.m. we finally got word that the children at Dorothy's home were okay. Then shortly after noon the two of us ventured out to the street in search of food and water, not knowing how we'd get the car out to get home because it was too far to walk. There were so many people, displaced and wandering, some with their belongings and a disturbing yet promising feeling of calm. Until the shock wears off the riots had not yet started. Nothing was open! We found no food, but were able to buy water and bottle soda and headed back.

Almost 24 hours later one of the cars belonging to a doctor was moved so that we could move a minimal amount of bodies to get the car out of the parking lot we lived in for a day to make our way back to the house and to check on the children in the orphanage. Despite rumors in the US that we had talked to our family we had no communication with friends and family back in the states. We arrived home and took Poutchino to get an IV from Chris with HIS Home for Children. This allowed me to see my son for a few short minutes and he is OKAY.

The next morning I went to the airport and spent from sunrise to almost sunset alone with others trying to leave. My flight was scheduled for that morning. I stayed not even knowing if commercial flights would be running and without communication to get a ride back home if I was still there at nightfall. The airport remained closed and despite US military taking it over, very little planes came in outside of reporters and crews. I fought a mob of people holding American passports to get onto a Vision Airlines flight that was less than half full, headed to Miami. Praise Jesus! MESI JEZI!

Upon arrival to the US all I want to do is go back. My sister and the children at Dorothy's home are okay, but quickly running out of provisions. Last night I found out that my son and those from HIS Home for Children have been displaced. The house did not hold up from the aftershocks. Words cannot express the amount of worry, nor the amount of faith this takes for all involved. It is devastation beyond comprehension. There is a reason God wants me home (for right now)... even if it's just a voice for the people of Haiti and what is going on there now. They have need for protein-based food, water, fuel, and most of all CASH!!!! ANY amount of donation you can give is appreciated!

God bless,

pray without ceasing

2010-01-15T02:41:00.006-06:00

The entire situation is absolutely overwhelming. Through it all two things keep coming to my mind.

First, I've been singing and humming the song "Mesi Jezi" or "Thank You Jesus". We are so lucky that we are alive and that people are being civil and pulling together to help one another in HAITI.

The second is the verse 1 Thessalonians 5:17 - pray without ceasing

I arrived tonight on an evacuation flight to Miami. Tasha, Isaac, and I are all ok. Mesi Jezi. please PLEASE please keep haiti in your prayers.

mwen renmen Ayiti!

2010-01-08T09:05:00.000-06:00

So last year i posted when it was Davidson's birthday and now i'm here at Cabaret Children's Home on his 7th birthday!!! Each month they have a family night one Friday (and if David or a group are here they plan it for then). And amazingly enough it happens to be Friday today. Idk if he even knows today is his birthday yet, but after school lets out we will celebrate. And i'll be sure to post pics from tonight later.

Feliz Navidad

2009-12-25T17:26:00.000-06:00

Baby doesn't like Santa too much. LOL love this.

May each and
every one of
you be blessed
to spend Jesus'
birthday with
loved ones!

The G Series: Giving

2009-12-16T13:45:00.014-06:00

MY CHRISTMAS LIST

This year is different. I know some of you may be thinking you already give to other charitable organizations, why another? My family does gifts in each other's name to World Vision among others. But as I've become more involved in certain causes this year, I'm asking you to consider also giving to the children of Uganda or Haiti. Since I am dear to your heart, and they are dear to my heart, they are like an extension of me :-) And how wonderful to know that I will be there to personally give and to be able show you how your gift has been put to use. This is not in lieu of other donations, just in place of a gift to me! Just think: no trips to the mall, no scouring the internet, no wrapping, no wondering what I want, LOL you get the idea.

Many of you know about my involvement with different orphanages and ministries. Last April I had an amazing opportunity to go to Uganda. That Vision Trip was focused on checking out possible care points and places in need of sponsorships. Now this spring I am so blessed to take a team on a volunteer trip back to a particular town and orphanage that a friend of mine and I are personally working with Children's HopeChest to support.

Our team will focus on the children who have been effected by the loss of their parents through the HIV virus and war. We will be traveling to Uganda to help rebuild a kitchen and to bring encouragement to the people of that area. Having met these children almost a year ago, I'm very anxious to see what has been and will be accomplished.

Before April comes around again there are a few things I need to do.

First, as always, there's a lot of mental, emotional, and spiritual preparation. And this time there is a lot more detailed work in planning and leading the trip.
Second, I would like to gain a prayer partnership with those of you that support me and are compassionate towards the cause.
Third, I need to raise financial support to finish the well (currently being built) and to build the kitchen (we will work on while we are there). The cost of each is approximately $10K.
Fourth, I'm also looking for $3K additional for travel and ground fees in Uganda (this is per person and there are others with gifts to share who would like to go and are in need of financial support as well). The trip to Haiti will be about $1500 total.

I'd like to invite you to consider being a part of this opportunity along with me. There are still a few spots left to join the group (contact me if interested). Your prayer support means so much. And any amount of financial support you feel impressed to give will be put to great use for these children and their surrounding communities.

You can donate via PAYPAL button on the right side of my blog. Below I've also included a response card that can be mailed to my home address. Contact me to have the PDF file emailed to you or for other options. And for those of you who would prefer to donate to the efforts I continue to do in Haiti, I will be serving there the first part of January and hopefully back again in Feb, May or Aug (or all of the above:)). If you have a preference, please just indicate where you'd like the donations to go.

Regardless of whether you decide to support me thru prayer and/or financially I want to thank you for your time. May you and your family have a blessed holiday and continue the blessings thru the New Year!

LOvE, @

And as God’s stewards, giving decisions are simply a matter of

thinking through how He wants us to allocate His money.

Isaac's health update

2009-12-03T01:10:00.000-06:00

Since my last visit, my prayers have focused much more on one realization: my baby is getting older and I desire so much for him to do so with me. I want to give him the one-on-one attention and interaction he deserves. His life, just like all of ours, is in His hands. I have faith that it will all be fine, but as a mama I just want the very best for him always.

Kervenson (Isaac) recently went to the doctor. He has been shaking his head quite a bit, especially when sitting alone and when there is a lot of commotion around. She thinks it's a habit kind of like sucking his thumb. (A self-stim behavior). She did not think it was a neurological disorder, but encouraged his caregivers to make sure that he gets lots of extra attention, as he doesn't usually do it when he is focused on something.

He was also evaluated by the psychologist (he needs these evaluations for his file as well) and just got that report back this week. She feels that it could be neurological, but isn't sure so she recommended a neurological consult to get another opinion. They will try to schedule that within the next week. On his psych. eval. he tested at 1 year, 3 months instead of 1 year, 6 months. This does not worry me too much bc as many of you know children are behind by own development standards in these types of environment and in developing countries. His issues are that he is not walking or holding a cup to drink by himself yet... (although he did the cup thing fine with me :) ). She recommended the same thing as the doctor... Lots of 1 on 1 attention. And thought that he would catch up quickly with that.

His recent cold/cough is gone and Chris has been giving his meds AM and PM. She is having the girls bring him up to the balcony in the afternoons so they can meke sure he gets lots of attention :) The upstairs at the "O" is where Chris and Hal eat, sleep, and care for their own kids as well as those with extra special medical needs and new additions. It makes me feel so much better to know he'll get the extra attention and LOVE.

Please continue to PrAY pRaY PrAy!

Before I was a Mom

2009-11-26T04:26:00.000-06:00

Author: Unknown

Before I was a Mom I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom - I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put them down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom - I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom - I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

Paperwork Update

2009-11-24T12:46:00.000-06:00

I may have been approved in MOFA in September, but the files are not yet in IBESR. (Steps here) Kervenson's paperwork is not ready yet. Sad day. He should be going to the doctor today.

Mandado Del Cielo

2009-11-24T01:48:00.024-06:00

baby Tasha, Kevenson's niece

one of HIS homes newest additions

Not flesh of my flesh

Nor bone of my bone,

But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart,
But in it.

lookin fresh ;)

bedtime... playtime... same thing

Few cute shots of Isaac with Gma and Gpa

2009-11-17T15:43:00.001-06:00

here.... in PAP

2009-11-16T17:06:00.000-06:00

it's beautiful in november, 85 degrees and a nice breeze. isaac is beautiful :) and gma and gpa have just made it here safely too. much love to everyone at home.

butterflies and tummy turns

2009-10-27T00:25:00.003-05:00

that's my nice way of saying being sick... i hate to post sad things on here. but there are lots of worries and prayer concerns out there. too many to name and number. i'm usually a glass half full kind of a girl, but have decided that adoption is TOUGH! yes, i already knew this... and so is caring about so many people, and children, and projects to help those in need.

so i've always had a propensity to do daring, exciting things. and then later been reminded that my body, more specifically my stomach, doesn't like it! some examples of things i have been nauseous during and/or after:
glass bottom boat ride in Jamaica
desert safari in Dubai
a whole slew of medications
driving up mountains anywhere
flying in B52 fighter jets
spinning rides, those dang teacups are the worst!
bus rides thru africa (or anywhere with questionable roads)
skydiving over the Swiss Alps
but now you can add worrying about Isaac to the list. i guess my feelings are all tied up in my tummy.

Moments

2009-10-22T01:33:00.000-05:00

HAPPY MOMENTS, PRAISE GOD.
DIFFICULT MOMENTS, SEEK GOD.
QUIET MOMENTS, WORSHIP GOD.
PAINFUL MOMENTS, TRUST GOD.
EVERY MOMENT, THANK GOD.

This pretty much sums up how i'm feeling. Lots to do, lots to pray about, and lots to be thankful for. I hope everyone is having a wonderful week!

New Pic

2009-10-15T18:55:00.002-05:00

sometimes i just love technology! thanks to the group site on snapfish a team that took formula to the orphanage posted a bunch of photos from this month! look at his face hahahahaha xxxxxxxxxxxx love him!

Who Made Your Bag?

2009-10-09T01:10:00.001-05:00

MEND is designed to seam a personal connection between products, their creators, and you. MEND is proof that what we wear can- and will- make a difference.

Who made your bag?

Shop Invisible Children Products HERE and help make a difference in Northern Uganda!

Prayers for Another Person I ♥

2009-10-01T19:20:00.013-05:00

I thought i'd write a quick update about my girl, Marie-Louise (Mellis) Casey. As some of you know she was in a coma the better part of 2006 and has been struggling with a difficult recovery since late that year. Her husband, Kowin, went to a Blue Valley school just like i did. The two of them have a little boy named Nils. Because of our broken health care system here Mellis ended up moving back to Sweden, where she's from, hoping for better results.

We have emailed and spoke some, but she doesn't have a computer at home. Last week she sent me a letter (with photos:) and I keep thinking about how hard it must be for her. My heart aches for my son who is far away and i know she feels the same. The doctors have decreased her meds from 36 pills/day to 16 and it is difficult to say the least. She is also going to start on some new medications and has made more progress in 9 months there than she did in 3 years here in the States. Her seizures have decreased and her relationship with the Lord has been strengthened.

Although many of you have not met her, she is a wonderful person and a dear friend of mine. She cried with me the day that Big got his visa and i cried with her in ICU too many times to count. Please keep Mellis, her mother, and the Caseys in your prayers for me too. ♥

Prayers and Support for People I ♥

2009-09-23T16:15:00.000-05:00

There are a few people that I am close to that I'd like all of my loved ones and followers to support in any way they can and to keep in their prayers. I truly believe in lifting one another up and want to make an effort in putting that into action.

So often we repost jokes, tweets, photos, etc... we should treat the other harder, deeper, or more serious content the same. These lives and stories have been an inspiration to me and to others around them.

First, is my sister. She has been volunteering and working both in Haiti with Dorothy Pearce at Faith Hope Love Infant Rescue and with Much Ministries in Waynesville, GA. I am hoping to visit there in October this year:) Please check out the web site for either of the organizations or her blog. The stories and the work never cease to amaze me. It is such a blessing in my life to read about and experience some of these things after dealing with so much selfishness and negativity in the world.

Second, is Mrs. Colleen Drury. I have an enormous amount of respect for this woman... and her oldest daughter is one of my bestest. Colleen is experiencing a recurrence of ovarian cancer and all I ask is that my biggest supporters include her and the Drury family in your prayers. She is very strong and hoping to be a part of a clinical trial at the AZ Cancer Center. You can read and see photos on their blog site Meet The New Super Woman. PS. Nicole & Billy are now expecting their second baby so pray for a healthy and happy pregnancy.

Love you all ♥♥♥
@

NEWS!

2009-09-22T11:33:00.001-05:00

this morning i got this email from my lawyer. praise god. soon i'll be moving into 2nd legal (refer to the post about all the steps to go thru and timeline). so this is big also because i don't meet the minimum age requirement. please continue to pray for us.

Hi Amanda,

This is to confirm that all the documents received from you have been legalized by MOFA. The clerck of Justice of Peace will bring me the PVA signed by the judge before the end of this week.

Sincerly

Ketlie T. Woolley

Divorced Single Parent

2009-09-22T02:09:00.001-05:00

...No never been married... But sometimes i feel like a divorced parent. I think about Isaac so much and when I go places like Disneyland, a baseball, soccer, football game, or walk by (or thru) a toy store, or ride in a helicopter i think about him. Then naturally i want to buy something for him. I really don't want to spoil him. I want his demeanor to be more like the children he lives with now in Haiti who are content with simple things. I'm torn. I understand the divorced parent who wants to buy material things for their kid to make up for lost time. What a strange feeling. Nothing can substitute for time. Quality is NOT always better than quantity.
The single parent thought is that i can see how hard it is for single mamas and daddys out there. You have to be the parent and the friend. The good guy and the bad guy. Life is about balance and i want to provide the best for my baby♡

August Family Visit

2009-09-12T17:28:00.021-05:00

in the BOX

2009-08-25T00:32:00.007-05:00

A couple weeks ago i was feeling really down about things and situations. I was feeling just plain misunderstood. I don't mean that it's always a bad thing. For the most part i don't care if people get me! =) People just tend to assume what it is i am thinking or what my motivation is for some of the things that i do.

When i talk about feelings, future plans, or desires... here in the states i am often bombarded with "how?" "what?" "but..." etc. Maybe it's human nature to try and fit someone else's thoughts into our own little box. But what gets to me is why some people have such a small box. LOL.

Now this is another perfect example of needing grace. I give parents the most grace bc i know they are being "parental" and worry about my well-being. And i know that generally most people i know do just care. But what would be nice is that support... that positive "Go do what your heart desires and what God calls you to do." "i am HAPPY for you." and "I support you." It's really just a positive spirit. I hope that i convey that to other people too.

A friend told me tonight that i was one of the most intelligent people he knew. Boy do i have him fooled. LOL. But really, i think it's a combination of learning from others, getting out of your bubble, reevaluating yourself, being HONEST, and most importantly, prayer. You know the more you learn, the more you realize you do not know.

As i sit here and think about all of the amazing things i have seen, heard, accomplished, lived, and learned, i feel like i could write a book. I could write a travelogue, or a tortured soul romantic novel, or a cookbook ;), or a "letter to my daughters" sequel to Maya Angelou's. More to come....

Inshallah

2009-08-22T00:59:00.006-05:00

I read something today in Tom Davis' book Scared that really stuck with me... A young girl in Swaziland remembers part of an English poem called Tears by Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

Those tears will run

Soon in long rivers down the lifted face,

And leave the vision clear for stars and sun.

I wrote this a couple years ago, but i still feel much the same way.

Inshallah

another year passes, ça va, ça va
a good year that only gets better
inshallah

you think this is about you mon ami
its not
rest assured its bigger than you OR me
your words are strong in their own way
i remember
its not everyday sunday
inshallah

i am free as a bird, yet trapped in this heat
moving in circles, bel far niente
yet still waiting, hoping for a heartbeat
your heart IS my heart
your hand IS my hand
your swag IS my swag
the LORD is my all…
my mother, my father, my brother, sister, lover, neighbor
HE will tell me when the time is right
nos vemos algun día
inshallah

my heart warms, beats fast, skips around
mi pena me hace fuerte
mis recuerdos keep me firm on the ground
i am supafly and confident
yet i am nothing compared to you
i am nothing if not passionate
the music plays and the sun goes down
i lean towards you
can you feel that?
inshallah

i love both quietly and loudly – but ALWAYS hard
another year passes, i am so very blessed
i can't wait till sunday
inshallah

•·.·´¯`·...@

Lizards

2009-08-18T09:45:00.004-05:00

We are settled in for another visit. This time staying at the Habitation Hatt not far from the airport. Most all of the kids have a colds since the rainstorms last week. We were both up with our coughs most of the night, but it's still better than the bad sinus infection he had last time. My friend Ashley, who was on this trip to Uganda with me, is here too.

So yesterday evening when Chris brought him to the hotel we were in the lobby playing and he obviously didn't want his little shoes on so i helped him take them off. Something fell out of the second one and it looked like a piece of trash. I picked it up by what ended up being the tail of a tiny lizard and quickly dropped it back to the floor and pushed it out of Isaac's reach. Ashley and i just exchanged looks, like "did he really just have a baby gecko in his shoe?" LOL

Adoption Steps

2009-08-11T22:51:00.007-05:00

This can be very confusing and I don't understand it all myself, but this is to clarify some of your questions :)

It certainly doesn't help that Haiti is constantly changing how adoptions will be handled and ways of locating children and different orphanages may vary just a bit. However, maybe this can be a general guideline as to what the process currently is:

Step 1: Gathering your dossier and sending it off to Haiti
Step 2: Orphanage puts together dossier for your child or children
Step 3: Your dossiers go to Minister of Foreign Affairs (MOFA), 1st legal - This is where my papers are authenticated in Haiti (2-4 weeks)

Step 4: Your dossier is submitted to IBESR, Haiti's Social Services Department - This is four stages of approval (3-6 months)
Step 5: Once your dossier is approved by IBESR you enter Parquet (1-3 months)
Step 6: Enter Civil Court Legalization, 2nd Legal- This is where your child or children legally become yours in Haiti! (1-2 months)
Step 7: Application for the child's Haitian Passport which starts at Ministry Of Interior (MOI) and then to Passports for printing (1-3 months)
Step 8: While the passport application is in the works your I-600 (your I-600A should have already been done during your wait) should be completed and approved.
Step 9: Visa application is filed and adoptive parents appointment in Haiti to receive the visa is scheduled. (1 week lead time)

Congratulations, It's time to bring home your child!!!

Very rough and oversimplified, but it always helps me to have a list :) I believe I'm in Step 3. Also, my I600 was processed and approved. I receive the form I-171H. This form means I am pre-approved by the USCIS (US Citizenship and Immigration Services) to adopt from Haiti!

POLLO A LA CARTA

2009-08-04T11:23:00.001-05:00

This was forwarded to me by my friend Katy in Santiago, Chile. True story, short film of hunger and poverty in the Philippines.

Gracias amiga. TQM.

Esta pelicula fue la ganadora en un festival de cine en Alemania...dura 6 minutos, no duden en verla hasta el final! Los comentarios se los reserva cada uno. Simplemente se pide reflexión....

Reflexionemos al respecto y tomemos conciencia no duden en verlo hasta el final

Dale click al enlace que está a continuación...

Click aqui / Click here

this makes me so happy...

2009-08-02T01:26:00.001-05:00

Orphan: The Film

2009-07-28T18:51:00.002-05:00

The new movie Orphan, as many of you may have seen the previews for, is now out in theaters. A movie is just that... a story, but it is sad when Hollywood portrays the villain as none other than a 9-year old orphaned girl. I'm not a fan of horror flicks anyway, but this endorsed stereotype of orphans being anything other than children who no longer have families to care for them is sad and at the very least unsettling, especially if you saw the preview.

July 24th marks the release of Orphan, or as the Washington Post referred to it, a:

"depraved, worthless piece of filth...a high-gloss horror show about a well-meaning couple who bring home a 9-year-old girl to join their family, only to discover, way too late, that she's a homicidal psychopath."

Tom Davis, defends the cause for orphans and talks about it here.

And many other articles have been published: example

If you want horror stories about orphans there are many stories concerning the circumstances of the 150 million orphans in this world that will tear your heart out.

Warner Bros. new horror movie Orphan proclaims that it must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own. Let me tell you about how an orphan changed my life...

I have quite a few moving experiences with orphans. The situation first made itself known to me as a teenager when I traveled to Mexico for mission trips. But in the last 5 years I have seen and heard so much more.

The first orphan who changed my life was a precious little girl named Mirloudes Massenat. I always knew I wanted to have boys, maybe 2... but my first trip to Haiti changed all that. There were only 7 children at Cabaret Children's Home when we arrived in '04. By the end of our stay this little tomboy and I were inseparable. She is the first child to really hold a special place in my heart. In subsequent trips there were a few times she was jealous of other children who had my attention. But as she grows older I know she understands she was the first and I will always love her :) Now I can't wait to have girls too and likely much more than 2 kiddos.

One of the orphans that lil miss Mirloudes was jealous of at first was Davidson Darisme. He was the number one reason for my deciding to adopt. I can't explain what happened to me after my trip to Cabaret/Bercy in January '08, but it was life-altering. Davidson has me wrapped around his little fingers. It's a good thing he doesn't realize to what extent. He came to the Orphanage very skinny and sickly. His older brother Wilguens is a very handsome little boy too. Davi has bad allergies and always runs around with scraped up knees and no shorts if he can get away with it. I will never forget his first trip to the beach when Rusty said he was big enough to go. He sat in my lap, facing me, in the tap tap and happily say Jesus Loves Me all by himself. I have a video of him singing to me again on my last trip in May and confess I watch it over and over sometimes. Cheryl... if you read this and you think there is any way to add him to my paperwork along with Kervenson's I still have that one wish to make it happen.

There are so so many other orphans that have touched and changed my life. A boy at the Children of Love Foundation in La Paz, Honduras. A beautiful, yellow-eyed girl at Bukedea in Uganda. And in the last year I have learned of so many people in my life that were once orphans and adopted at some point: from my neighbor, to a regular at Mosaic, to a friend who invited me on one of these volunteer trips. Last but not least, is the one most of you know about. My baby Isaac is the most precious thing that has ever happened to me. This blog is filled with updates and photos about him...

Sundays

2009-07-12T23:19:00.001-05:00

Sunday used to be my favorite day of the week. It brings to mind a day to recover, relax, church, family lunches, nacho dinners, chillin at the pool, movies, and football in the fall.

But in the last year Sundays have become a sort of melancholic day for me... if that’s a good way to put it. Now this Sunday can be any day really. This summer when I work at The Jones on Sundays, my day is Monday. I assume when I start classes next year it could be Friday or Saturday that I feel this way.

Point is, after a busy weekend of work and being “on” all the time, I really enjoy my me-time. And in that slowing down and tuning in to what I have pushed to the back of my mind while I’m on the grind, I realize that I miss my baby. I wonder how he is, what he’s doing, what he ate for his last meal, who will put him down to sleep tonight... All in all I have faith that he’s okay. I’m good knowing that Isaac’s fate lies in God’s hands whether I have him right here in my arms or if he’s somewhere far away. But the mother in me (still weird to say) wants to protect, spoil, teach, care for him… And I just really miss him.

It’s a journey that I love and hate. I want him home with me, but I know that this process is what is meant to be. I have a new purpose for what I do. Not many people know what I do, no one really knows what I go thru. I’m not saying it’s harder or easier than others. That is not my judgment to make, but it is unique to me. I told someone recently that it had been kind of an emotional day. And they responded, “I imagine being emotional comes with caring about things, being passionate.” … Absolutely.

latest, greatest, family pics

2009-07-02T09:32:00.002-05:00

Isaac and David in the Pak-n-Play

We were so lucky to get to visit Cabaret Children's Home the day the crew went to the beach. Such a weird feeling having my Bercy kids meet my bebe. The kids embraced him like one of theirs. It was so so precious. Especially Nalda... she just loved him!

Charlene, Isaac, & Vedeline

Nalda & Isaac

Vedeline, Isaac, & Mirlourdes

Wanna & Davidson

Mirlourdes, Wanna, & Me

Car ride thru Haiti

Gma, Isaac, & Me

bb asleep in his Husler onsie LOL

Posin' poolside at the Villa Therese

Playing at the restaurant at the Baptist Mission

Everyone's sleeping on the way back down the mountain!

Isaac sportin' his onsie from Africa :)

And playin with his giraffe Aunt Ashley get him at the market

Isaac & his older gf Livie ;)

Schella & Isaac. She's so good with him :)

Wow! pool water!

Nap time zzzzzzzz

Rosetaina Bertrand, born July 19 2007, died July 7, 2009.

Ti-Rose as they called her at Dorothy's... at 20 months weighed only 10.5 lbs when they took her in.

At Mama Dorothy's with Isaac & Gertie

Up playin way past bedtime!

Can u believe we woke him up to open his birthday presents with the rest of the kids at the O?! But Felinta was more than willing to help!

Sincere Thanks

2009-06-25T01:39:00.001-05:00

To everyone who donated time, money, goods, effort to the children in Uganda and Haiti.THANK U. On the ground in Uganda we were able to provide $2500 to Rapha from money you guys sent! They are building a kitchen (mostly. . .just getting it enough done to make it workable and will have to finish it later) and buy supplies to be able to feed all of the children in the school. Note: They were originally going to buy beds, but it is more important to EAT then have your own bed! We provided $100 for rice, beans AND MEAT one day. And $100 for Nabakalu to provide the same for our visit there. We also purchased 150 nets (43 will go to Pastor John's Ministry along with 8 mattresses. They had NO nets and 8 of their mattresses had been destroyed in a fire). We also gave Rapha 7 nets to replace ones with holes in them. We provided 100 nets to give away in Soroti as we see needs. We got a GREAT price of 4800 ugx which is only $2.25 per net!... much cheaper than the states.

997 Toothbrushes

327 Tubes of Toothpaste + 161 one time toothpaste samples

4548 Pencils + uncounted crayons and markers

1061 pairs of underwear
1 suitcase full of clothes (packed!)

1 suitcase full of shoes

Also thanks to everyone who donated to HIS Home for Children in Haiti. It means so much to me, but even more to those who receive your generous gifts =)